Our car

Our wonderful Nissan Largo. Isn't it beautiful? Gordon is inside giving the mandatory peace sign.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

We were supposed to get Internet today. “Supposed” being the operative word. I joked with Gordon yesterday that I wasn’t going to let the NTT (Internet/phone company) person leave until we had wireless set up and until I went on both of our computers and confirmed that it worked. If they wanted to leave for whatever reason before the job was finished I was going to lock both locks on the door, put the chain on the door, physically block it with my body and politely ask if they would like lunch because they weren’t leaving anytime soon.

It started off well enough. The NTT guy came a little before 9 am so he was actually a little early. I was ecstatic. I got up early with Gordon (today was his first day teaching at the junior high school!) and got dressed and got everything ready, such as turning on the computers, so everything would go smoothly (I’ve obviously learned from past experiences). So, the NTT guy is setting the modem up and occasionally he typed away furiously on his cell phone and translated a phrase into English. At first he wanted the “apartmento name” which I came to find out meant, “apartment address” and then he wanted to know where “construction of modem” was which means, “where do I plug in the modem”. Besides our slow communication, everything was going fine.

So, I’m sitting there reading "The Girl Who Played With Fire" on Gordon's Kindle (the fourth book I've read since I arrived in Japan...because we don’t have Internet) when NTT guy says he needs another sheet of paper and points to the NTT papers on the table that Gordon and I received a while back. He says a sheet is missing. I look around for another sheet. I go upstairs and shuffle through a stack of papers all the while knowing those are all the papers pertaining to the Internet that we have. I break the news to him that I don’t have the paper, not worrying because a sheet of paper can’t be necessary to hook up Internet, its all wires and cords as far as I’m concerned.

He signals that he understood what I said and types away at his phone and shows me these words in this order: “business” and “terminated”. WHAT? I give him a quizzical look. He says, “tomorrow” and then types “English speaker capable”.

At this point I’m beginning to panic and in my head I’m thinking, “Don’t let him leave the apartment, Emily”. I also start replaying the abduction scene in my head. Then I say, “kyo?” (“today”) as in “you’ll come back today?” He gives me a shrug and smiles and points to the telephone and says, “English speaker”. Ok, an English speaker is going to call, that’s great, but you’re missing the point. I repeat myself, but with a different inflection, “kyo!” as in “Today! I’m going to get Internet!” He’s not amused. I point to the modem and say “internet” and give the thumbs up and smile hopefully. He responds with a gesture I dread. He lifts up his arms and crosses them in front of him to form a big X, which in Japan is the universal symbol for “no” or in my case “you’re out of luck”.

Now I’m feeling frantic and desperate. This guy is my only chance to connect with the outside world. My face immediately drops and I say in a pathetic voice, “no Internet?” I try and look as depressed as possible, partly because I really am, and partly because, if I know one thing its that body language says a whole lot more than words. He says, “tomorrow” and starts packing his things. I had to suppress the impulse to run to the door and lock it. There was obviously nothing left to do. He exchanged a couple pleasantries as he walked out the door while I eyed the broom next to the door thinking that I might still have a chance to knock him over the head once and drag him back inside. As soon as he left and I shut the door, I started to bawl my eyes out. I had been waiting for this day in anticipation and was disappointed. I was looking forward to possibly talking to my friends and family and could imagine them sitting at their computers at home waiting for some signal from me.

Well, that wasn’t going to happen and after about half an hour and half a box of tissues later I decided to cheer myself up by brewing a cup of coffee (what the heck, I went ahead and brewed two) and made some buttered toast. If the Internet wasn’t going to satisfy my needs then coffee and bread would have to do. I started to feel a little better as I scooped the coffee and put the slice of bread in the toaster oven when I heard our mail slot open and shut. I went to the door and picked up a letter on the floor. It was a letter from my Papa (grandma). I immediately felt the tears welling up in my eyes and started bawling. As if that wasn’t bad enough, to make matters worse I open the letter and on the front of the card, in big letters is the word, “KITTIES!” with cute cartoon pictures of cats. I continued to cry and then laughed and smiled all at the same time. Who doesn’t like kitties?! Needless-to-say, I started to feel a whole lot better and at least for the moment, snail mail seems far superior to the Internet.

My alternative to the Internet.